Deadly Dust

While walking on a path in the woods, I stop to rest and admire the scenery. I spy a bobolink taking a bath.

Then, all the sudden, there’s deadly dust: Airborne poison flies into my lungs and causes them to corrode. Every living thing, within which is the breath of life, begins coughing and choking. Mother Nature is fainting. Now the field is imploding. I struggle to stand and run away from this lethal windstorm, but my escape is complicated when the deadly dust thickens and inflicts me with blindness.

Now let’s watch the radio ad for this excellent new product from the Dow Chemical Company:

Deadly Dust! Bring some along with you, next time you go out. Offer your dinner companion a whiff, and she will simply melt. Feel it soaking deep into the lining of your lungs? Coughing up blood is not an unwanted side-effect but the intended result. Hope shall now no longer be able to string you along in such a teasing fashion. The strong wind will effectively grope you. Fling Deadly Dust in the air, and everything in the vicinity shall be blessed with nullification. It tears in tatters any attire that you happen to be wearing, via the patented process known as “fabric shredding”; then it penetrates your flesh, leaving you with the gift of expiry. Enjoy one last final breath, courtesy of the butterfly effect. — Remember this, next time you’re sweeping your shop’s front step.