Dick Clark is a showman from the United States. The reason you’re familiar with him is that he always hosts the televised New Year Confrontation. Some people suspect him of acting too friendly. Others marvel that his corpse is so well-preserved. I myself can prove that he’s a spy for the extraterrestrials.
Now that the New Year is threatening to usurp our reality, fireworks are being launched against it. Let us celebrate with Dick Clark, that skanky whore.
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