Tea

Here is the definitive essay on tea. Tea is a beverage for drinking hot. Make sure you mix it up well, otherwise it tastes bad. Yet it’s supposed to be bitter, so don’t call it “yucky” until you’ve first looked around to gauge other people’s reactions and carefully read their online reviews. Tea is the twenty-third letter of the U.S. alphabet. Tea is also better, bigger, badder, braver, and more blasted than a gol dang badger. Don’t forget to break out in a sweat. Keep your blood acidic. Stand in place. Do you hate what you’re perceiving? Add some sweetener. Offer a cup to Officer Earl Grey, since he’s here. NOW who’s warm and wet! (What if you could feel someone else’s feelings?) You have completed your life.