Falling off the railing

I call out to my mommy: “Help me, I’m falling!”

The context of this remark is that I slipped off the railing, fell two stories down, and landed right on my nose. I got a concussion and went to sleep. Now I must wear a full face-cast and undergo surgery. 

Why did I engage in such an unwise act? I can’t answer this question — all I can do is offer you a bit of cautionary advice:

Don’t ever dive off railings two flights down onto the ground and allow your face to break your fall. You could seriously hurt yourself. Refrain from dangling off the balcony and shouting: “Hey, mom, look, I can hang from one hand! Bring me a can of beer, I’m thirsty!” Most importantly, whenever you find yourself in this position, never release your hold and allow your feet to slip over the top of your head in midair; because, upon impact, your clothes will run the risk of getting stained by the resultant pooling blood, which could also drown you. Someone might need to call an ambulance.