The Sushi Guys

Greetings to you and your fellow woodlanders. We are The Sushi Guys, here to pay you a visit. When you smell the aroma of raw fish, you know that we have arrived. But you can see us now — that’s how close we are. So, let’s get started. 

Who wants a plate of sushi on boiled rice? I hear a voice amidst the multitude crying “I’m ready to roll.” OK, pass this dish to whoever just said that. 

Now let’s all take a trip over to our food truck. Step inside the trailer: we’d like to introduce you to what we call “The Ultra Sushi Bar” — it’s a place exclusively for trendsetters to hang out. Do all of you cool people like sushi? Good. I’ll be the first to admit: I, too, am a Sushi Guy. I will eat it every day, for all three meals, until I naturally expire from falling asleep in a man-trap. Let the steel jaws close upon my dress, for God cannot save me. But that’s a tale for another time. 

Let me now explain all the benefits of sushi. It can make you fly. It has a really fishy flavor. — Hey, don’t you just want to fill your face with tuna? That would be a very fashionable move. 

Come in to our sushi bar and order a plate with some wasabi dip on it. Then say: “Serve me up a cup of saké!” I myself will join you: I’ll sit on the stool next to you.

We can eat sushi until we grow old together. I plan on dying while still chewing; or maybe just after finishing: I can’t decide whether to swallow my last mouthful or not. (Would it be better to know that I had relished every single bite of my meal, or should I save a little something to enjoy in the afterlife, in case there really is a physical resurrection?) I like it when it’s cold and oozing with juices.

Well, that’s it — we’re done. All rise for the closing jingle:

Eat! more! sushi!
Squirt, squirt: gooshy!
Ah-h-h, sushi bar —
’Hoy, mateys, arr.