Oh no, here he is — right here and now, in the year 2000 A.D. — it’s the Tyrannosaurus Rex, and he’s walking around! He’s supposed to be dead and buried underneath the topsoil, but he’s here alive instead, in modern times. T-Rex 2000 is stomping down the sidewalk, looking at houses. What is going on; shouldn’t he be extinct? Why does he exist at the same time as us humans? What do you think about this predicament — can you devise a plausible theory? I myself remain baffled.
Let me get a closer look, to make sure my eyes don’t deceive me . . . Oh man, it’s real! The famous T-Rex truly is alive in the 21st Century! What’s he doing? Why is he wandering here and there? I still can’t believe he is present and sharing reality with us. And look how big he is — either the ground is shaking, or I’m trembling in fear! — I gotta phone my mom and tell her this news; she’ll never believe it!”
FACTUAL SUMMARY: The dinosaurs lived in prehistoric times, but somehow T-Rex visited our current generation.
ADVERTISEMENT: Tyrannosaurus Rex 2000 — totally hardcore giant mutant reptile made of clay. He’ll murder anyone who stands in front of him. T-Rex 2-K is as wide as a Mack Truck and taller than most trees. Don’t miss out: he’s even more frightening in person than he is on the screen. His specialty is ripping and stepping on flesh, and he has no remorse and no conscience: he’ll overwhelm your home security system. This diabolical carnivore is big and bad. He’s ready for war. But you need to act fast and mail your payment in immediately, if you want to see him; because, just now, a meteor crashed over his head and caused him and the rest of the dinosaurs to die.
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