Continued from yesterday’s entry, here are the next couple cantos of Prince James Navigates the Seven Circles.
Circle 2: Purgatory Playground
“Now I’ll bring you somewhere else,” James says to his chaperone. “It is very much like the Lake of Fire, but it’s a public park for children. — Hey, look, I see my sister Lilith in the distance! Aloha, Lilith, can you hear me? What are you doing over there on that swingset?”
“Can’t you see? I am swinging.”
“Ah, how odd. Now I’ll displace you because I myself wish to use the contraption.”
“Ow! James, by pushing me off the swing, you have acted inhumanely. Now, I, your own sister, am cursed with injuries and must draw breath in a fallen state. For I have returned unto the ground, and my brow is asweat. You should repent of your hubris and share your miraculous power, otherwise our playtime is supervened by a lengthy history of disobedience and redemption.”
“Sharing? Instead of using lethal force to hoard luxuries? Is this some sort of life-lesson that I need to learn?”
“Only the Holy Ghost knows the answer to that; I am not your keeper. When I replied just now, I took no thought beforehand what I should say, neither did I premeditate: but I spoke the words that happened to flow from my heart.”
“Come then, let us share this swingset together and feel delight.” (James seats his sister on his right hand in power.) “I will start us swinging now: Up, up, up, into the sky. Down, down, down until we die.”
Thus, the swing’s chain breaks and the playground collapses. Prince James cries out in pain and commands his chaperone to rickshaw him away.
Circle 3: The Abortion Clinic
Prince James is now rickshaw’d into the abortion clinic.
“Hello, nurse. What goes on here?”
“We help men who are in fear.”
“What do you mean? Please explain.”
“How come it’s so bloody wet?”
“’Cause its life was beaten out.”
“Oh, how sad; that makes me pout.”
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