The First Scientist

In the beginning, when nothing existed besides the Deceiver, who was King of the Whole Universe, there was born a man with a big brain inside a big head. He was the world’s first scientist. And he had a powerful microscope: it could go all the way up to Volume 10. 

Now, this scientist studied the genes of humankind, and he noticed that there were brilliant genes and dull genes. So, by way of the processes of grafting and replication, he manipulated a majority of the gene pool so that it faded to hell. This created an opportunity for sorting and judging, and for meting out punishments. 

So the scientist traveled around the Entire Universe injecting beings with this divisive serum that he had concocted. And he used his own unclean needle. What a terror: Now there are bright, shining angels that we need to tolerate.

To review: the first Man of Science was diabolical and angry, like his Father. He spent hours in the lab splitting genes and trying to jumpstart a basis for means testing. Great Scott! he’s giving birth, and now the Devil is here. Look at his skin. This is unjust.