The Riddler

The Riddler stands blocking the entrance that leads to the Law. You could probably just walk past him without any trouble, but you decide to humor his request, when he asks if you’ll please listen to him recite his new rap. “OK,” you say; “but make it quick — I really want to go inside and study legalese.” 

The Riddler’s rap consists of a number of clauses that form a single trick question. Instead of trying to describe it, I’ll just print out the lyric sheet, here:

“Sphinx Rap,” by The Riddler

What gets up in the morning crawling on all fours; / Then it goes into its job on two feet less; / And, finally, when the night comes, it walks with a grand total of three canes? / Answer now, or I will inform the State Church that you are a madman who is in need of sensitivity training.

Luckily, you’ve heard this joke before, so you are able to reply with ease. “Piece of cake!” you smile while slapping the Riddler on his back; then you begin your interpretation. “The answer to your rap is: A businessman. For, in infancy, he creeps on the floor with multiple appendages like an insect (German: Ungeziefer); then, when faced with the crisis of midlife, he rises up on a pair of stilts and tries to overstep competition; finally, in old age, he develops three legs like a mutant, so as to perform the ritual of self-immolation: for his calling in life is to be a sacrificial tripod to Mammon. — That, by the way, is why you yourself, Mr. Riddler, remain loitering here like a bum before the Law instead of swimming in money: Lo, all the symbols afloat in your costume’s oceanic background of green chromakey are wholly question marks, when they should be dollar signs.”