The Astronauts, Pt. 3: Going to the Sun

Now we’re off to visit the Sun, to do some solar-lander racing in our flame-retardant body-armor with handguns. 

“Pass the Scotch,” I say, when we land. “Well, well! now get a load of this landscape. I didn’t expect the Sun to be so bright and beautiful. Ah, hey, look: I’m almost weightless, ha-ha-ha! This is fun. I’m glad we crash-landed here.” 

After a few weeks of scientific research on the Sun, I note down in my travel diary that it is always exactly 80 degrees Fahrenheit here, with low humidity. And even in the shade of the gold palms, one can get a tan. 

The crew and I spend most of our time hunting animals, so the air is reverberant with gunshots. 

“What are you doing?” asks Cosmonaut Stegz from a blazing hill nearby.

“Oh, just using my nunchucks to stun some sunchucks that I caught in my space trap.”

“Cool,” says Stegz.