If Cats Were Not Cats

What if cats were aliens. Then, they would have lizard fur. Instead of lapping milk, they would feel softer than soapstone. 

What if cats were actually human. I wonder how they would act. They would probably hug each other too much and press their crotch against each other’s tongue.

What if cats were rocks. They would most likely never speak words. They would be extremely hard, on the surface. They would lie there in my lawn.

What if cats were really big. They would then be extremely huge, with much larger legs, and they would drink enormous kegs of beer. 

What if cats were dogs. They would then be divine, instead of devilish. They would wag their tail a lot. And they would constantly press their crotch against each other’s tongue.

What if cats were cool. Then they would not be no fool. Instead, they would all stay in school and swim in the pool.

But what if cats were cats. Then they would be the same as they are, right now. They would dream about mice. And their owners would maltreat them.