We are the homecoming king and queen. Best Limited People Magazine has our photo on its glossy cover. Our crowns are gold, and our robes are ornamented with ermine. It feels good to be royalty. Everybody says that we look really cute together. I think we’ll hold these offices indefinitely. (Why would we ever resign?)
QUEEN: “I am a girl with very large teeth.”
KING: “And I am a boy who resembles Beef Wellington Tart.”
QUEEN: “I have a squinty look, from sailing through windstorms for decades.”
KING: “Your arms are strong, because you rowed here all the way from Aeaea; although, for the same reason, your legs are flabby.”
QUEEN: “I am the king, wearing only lace.”
KING: “I sport thick layers of greasy face-makeup and fill my corset with hosiery.”
QUEEN: “I stuff my codpiece with rocks.”
BOTH: “We secure our top-secret family jewels and misremember passwords.”
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