Water

Water goes down one’s throat smoothly. It will help to rehydrate anything parched, as it is springing out of a fissure. This is the Platonic Form of Wetness. Good for moistening your pants. Also for washing eggs or mammals. It is a liquid. If you sip it while at your place of employment, it will make you a better person. The manufacturer recommends watering your plants while splashing and bothering your houseguests. It will help you when you’re outdoors with your dog. Say the two of you desire to bathe together. Make sure to buy yourself a whirlpool that really spins. Note also: Fish use water to breathe, mate, and urinate.

Here is a list of products containing water: The Mississippi River. Swimming. Raining. Rapidly flowing. Watersports played on horseback with a long-handled mallet. Dropping backward into the ocean. Surfing. Boogie-boarding. Floating around. Surfing. Gushing from the faucet. Dripping. Surfing. Down onto the floor, slipping and falling. The substance that buoys your battleship. Car wash. Grass in the yard. Taking a dip. Not waving, but . . . Feed out more rope: Something dead and bloated is hailing victory.