Women

Here is an essay about women. What are women? They are the nice things of the world. They have hair, some arms and legs, some eyes, one nose, and two red cheeks. Women have a wonderful sense of humor, and they are really nice and wonderful. They like to bake breakfast, such as steak. Also they are the gift of love. They are physically tough, but don’t try to punch them. Women are members of the Feminine Sector, which is a much softer race of lads. They possess good taste, excellent judgment, and are almost never aesthetically revolting. Women love receiving flowers and chocolate. 

So, to recap, women are patient, loving, caring, and sweet-natured. They all have manicures on their hands and pedicures on their feet. And they are always mothering you. They giggle and wiggle, gossip and hobnob. They’re effeminate. Their hair is longer than ours; thus, they are beautiful. Every woman is touchy-feely, silly, and happy-go-lucky. They listen to your problems and then bring forth the gift of more life. You can call them various names, but, whatever you say, roses shall remain roses, and their thorns will make you bleed the same humanlike blood whenever you pluck them.