I read an article in the newspaper claiming that some scientists cloned a pig last Thursday. What is this, are you stupid? Don’t you know that porcine cytoplasm cannot be divided in the manner described? Plus each cell of the duplicate animal must be complete, not all chopped in half. And I bet they didn’t save their scientific records — those are important; if they say they misplaced them, then I’m skeptical. In fact, the more I think about this, the more it gets on my nerves. Let me break it down for you in detail:
Pig cloning is something that is guaranteed never to happen. You can tell that I’m serious by the tone of my voice — check this out: So, some people claim that they cloned a pig, and that it was identical, and that it grew really plump and juicy. I say that this is impossible: Scientifical evidence has verified that swine possess what is called a “chromosome chasm” between the seventh and ninth rungs in their DNA ladder. Yet, when you look at the pig that they claim to have cloned, you’ll notice right away that this chasm is closed. Therefore, it follows that their belief is absurd. I urge everyone to go out and picket these scientists for wasting our time, and, while you’re there, present them this argument that you heard right here in my essay. And, whatever they claim, remember: pig cloning CANNOT occur.
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