What other footwear has beans and meat plus rice and hot sauce!? This is the perfect gift to give to anyone who works in management. Burrito shoes have tortilla soles, and they come packed with pork. They are good for sprinting, bicycle racing, gunning, and therapeutic hypnotism.
Burrito shoes are as neat as Dorito boots. They’re fun to cook and then wear all day. Just take them off when you’re ready to eat.
Look: I got two new burrito shoes. They have beans for laces, and they’re blue in color, with french fries poking up through the sock. Also note that the logo is a suburban police officer. What happened is that I threw a chair at mom; then I took a few tacos and killed the yard; so mom came back indoors and was like: “Why is the lawn all wilted?” And I said: “You didn’t notice — the lettuce is made of silk! Now don’t you think that my shoes are taco-riffic? Listen to how they crunch when I kick your behind.” Then I went running and leaping after the old hag, and flowers kept blooming rapidly, everywhere we dashed.
THEME SONG:
Burrito shoes are fun to wear like cheesy soup. They are airmailed straight to your bedroom in a well-sealed bag; and, when you put them on, they are louder than Thunder Man.
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