Dead People Driving Cars

Here is something to see: Dead people driving cars. They are going to and fro in the earth, and cruising up and down on it. Watch out for these corpses in automobiles that are rising from their coffins and driving straight through red lights. Wear a helmet if you want to use the street, because those who have expired are now behind the steering wheel. They’re peeling rubber when they take off. I just saw a rotting body piloting a Chevrolet Monte Carlo, which was being chased by a Ford Focus whose driver was obviously deceased — the latter had rammed the accelerator pedal thru the floor: that’s how hard he or she was pressing it. They really want to go fast, these cadavers. Crash, bang! now there’s a traffic jam with fender benders. All these trucks, motorcycles, and vans are occupied by carcasses. I suggest that we still-living people run and hide inside the shed. Follow me; you don’t want to die and become one of the drivers passing by, taking a ride because you have no life.

SUMMARY: Resurrected corpses are operating motorized vehicles, which entails shifting gears, changing lanes, performing U-turns, parallel parking, coasting thru stoplights, organizing wrestling tournaments, toggling the auto-locks on passenger doors, and slurring their speech. These dead people are driving cars recklessly with an expired license. Please use your turn signal.