Falling in a Well

Now I’m falling in a well. Here’s what happened: 

I was taking a walk, then I fell deep into this well. Soon my head began to hurt. There was a ringing in my ears like church bells. I started calling people on my mobile phone, telling them that I’m inside a well. They asked me how I managed to get myself into this situation, and I lost my patience and began to yell at them, using the foulest language. Meanwhile, I continued falling. “What is this, an endless pit?” I said to whoever might be listening. Then I continued to complain, saying: “Now I scraped my shin, and I just bumped my groin, plus there’s a sore on my mouth. Shit, now I broke my shoe. I’m descending rapidly down this shaft. I hope all my bones remain strong. Holy cow, now I scraped my other shin. Will someone please help me? I think my mouth is cut.”