I used to be all poor and stupid, but one day I totally wised up and won the lottery. Yes, I earned hard cash in the amount of seventeen million five billion trillion fourteen thousand point nine quintillion dollars, plus very many pounds, yuan, pesos, and Louis D’or. — Pardon me while I cheer for myself.
Then, after confirming my big win, I took my usual trip to the government office to pick up what would be my last welfare payment. As soon as I got the check in my hands, I turned to address all the folks who were waiting in line there — I said: “You can all go to heck. For I won the lottery; now I’m famous. My plan is to buy the rights to all the best recorded music and then allow corporations to use it on the soundtracks of their advertisements.”
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