I'll Be There For You

Let me tell you again: I’ll be there for you. My love is trustworthy. You and I were meant to be together forever. Let us therefore disrobe and stand and look at each other. Then pay a visit to the marketplace and purchase many gifts to prove our love, such as a stuffed dove or a Christmas card. 

Now let’s position ourselves on our lawn and shake hands all night, under the black summer sky. Look how starry it is. Ooh, now I see the cops: they pull up in their cars and stop before us, and ask us to move indoors. We explain that our plan was to enjoy a nightlong greeting underneath the starry sky. They show us a place on the landscape where there is a grassy dewy knoll, and they suggest that we change our behavior to a full-body embrace. We offer a compromise: “How about we all climb a hill; that might be stimulating.” 

Once we arrive at the peak, the cops remark on our hair. They ask if we ever learned how to shave with a razor. They demonstrate their meaning, while assuring us that they will be there for us, like they always are, in the summer night, under the starry sky, on top of this hill. Then they invite us to take a walk. We soon exclaim an oath, in fright, when we believe that we see a troll beneath the bridge. Our perception proves correct: the creature is obese. And one of the officers announces happily that during a cave-search, she found this bat. “Look!” she says, holding it up.