Well, now that I own all the oceans, land, and air, I’m patenting and restricting the use of the element hydrogen, which forms a part of nearly every living thing. If you can’t pay, you die. That is all.
So, if I happen to catch you breathing or drinking some water, you’d better be prepared to show a receipt. Anyone who gives me the slightest trouble about this must answer to my robotic Police Force.
Yes, my hydrogen patent is humane, fair, prudent, and kind. Also safe and effective. “Attention, Robot Cop,” I address the Officer standing beside me, “destroy that pretty flower that is stealing my nutriments.”
I own all the scientists, therefore I can instruct the baryonic matter of the universe to obey no force but me. And, if the tired poor huddled masses refuse to comply, then they’re welcome to go try to live a hydrogen-free existence.
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