I fly around in the air with my wings. Because of this, most people believe that I am only a songbird, but I also give lectures. For instance, consider this speech that I’m delivering to you right now: it’s called “Tweet, Tweet.” I have another entitled “Chirp, Chirp,” and my most famous lecture to date is “Caw, Caw, Caw.” You should give them all a listen. Of course, I excrete whitish waste during any speaking engagement; so, someone should probably clean up after me, once I’m done here. Mop the floor with a strong detergent. And I hope you don’t mind that I built this nest while addressing you — it’s just a nervous habit. Do what you like with the eggs; I don’t have time to hatch them. Are there any serpents in the audience? Come right up, it’s no trap: enjoy a free meal.
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