What I Do to Make Noise at Night

I fly my airplane close to the street at three o’clock in the morning. Try to sleep while I’m coasting through the neighborhood with my fire-blaster jet engines thundering. 

I also ride my bike at night, with a tarot card lodged between the frame and the rear wheel so that it rattles against the spokes. 

Keep in mind that I perform all these acts during bedtime, when it’s still dark out and everyone is desiring to rest. I tell real loud jokes like a standup comedian, as well, out in your front yard, until there’s no hope of you ever getting back to sleep. I also hoot like an owl.

I tie a string of tin cans to the heel of my boot so that they drag behind me; then I run all over your driveway. I’ll only stop when the sun comes up.