Some people claim to have all-wet kitchens, but if you actually try them out, you’ll notice that certain aspects are still dry, like the knives and the hand-towels. But my own kitchen is thoroughly wet: you are advised to wear a waterproof suit to enter. Now hobble over in your flippers to the drawer that holds the swords; pull one out and notice that there’s water gushing and flowing all over the blade and its handle, swooshing about in slow-motion picturesquely. Use the cutting board and slice some peppers: behold how liquid squirts and splashes around on everything. This is a truly wet kitchen. Now try baking cookies . . . taste them: they’re sopping! And carrot cake turns out moist. My favorite food is potatoes – I make them twenty different ways. The King of France often joins me, and we eat sardines together with our fingers.
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