Chapter 14-a
Then, one day, Jonathan the son of President Saul said to his mute sidekick: “Come, let us visit the Sea People, and do some mixing and mingling.” But he did not tell his father where he was going.
And President Saul tarried in the uttermost part of Sweet Beulah Land, under the pomegranate tree on the lawn of the Black House, with six hundred interns, along with the robo-butler Man. And Man the robo-butler was wearing an ephod, which is an apron that contains the Breastplate of the Volcano.
To be clear, President Saul and his administration at the Black House did not know that Saul’s son Jonathan had left on an adventure with his mute sidekick.
And Jonathan and his mute sidekick climbed to a place where they were surrounded by sharp rocks on either side. And Jonathan said: “Ah, from here, I have a good view of the Sea People. Let us draw closer, with the aim of mixing and mingling. Perhaps the Volcano will favor our endeavor.” And his mute sidekick answered: “Let’s do it: follow your heart. I am with you, all the way.”
Then they crept closer, and Jonathan said: “Behold, let us shout a greeting to those female Sea People. And if they tell us: ‘Wait there; we’ll come to you,’ then we will stand still and wait for them. But if they answer: ‘Come near us, lads; be not afraid of our bodies,’ then we will approach them. We will consider this a sign from God.”
And they discovered themselves unto the female Sea People, who said one to another: “Behold, the wayfarers are coming forth out of the holes where they were hiding.” And Jonathan and his mute sidekick looked at each other. Then the female Sea People said to the lads: “Come over here, close to us; and we will show you a thing or two.”
So Jonathan and his companion smiled, knowing that they were in for some amusement. They then climbed upon their hands and feet, to get out from between the sharp rocks where they were positioned.
And these two young adventurers ended up coupling with about twenty female Sea People, all over a flat acre of land. And they rolled all around on the earth, on the grass in the field.
Now President Saul’s watchmen, who were at the top of the pomegranate tree on the lawn of the Black House, gazing into binoculars, thought that they saw some figures rolling on the field in the distance. So they told President Saul about this development. And President Saul said to the watchmen: “Put down your lensed instruments and count the people who are here among us; for I think that a pair of interns is missing – I can feel it.” And when they had numbered, behold, Jonathan and his sidekick were absent.
Then Saul the President said to the android Man, his robo-butler: “Bring here the ephod.” For, as was mentioned above, the android was wearing the ephod, on which is the Breastplate of the Volcano. The reason Saul wanted to access the the robo-butler’s ephod is that it contains the Urim and Thummim, which are tools of divination. (According to the description given in its patent, the Urim is a “Liquid Filled Die Agitator,” which one consults with yes-no questions: it contains “a polyhedron having raised indicia on the facets thereof.” And the Thummim is a coin that one flips to give an alternate answer in case the Urim gets jammed.) But before President Saul had a chance to inquire of the ephod’s Urim, the sweet moaning from the field yonder waxed so loud that it distracted him utterly: thus he waved off the android, saying “Withdraw for now; we’ll consult the ephod later.”
Then Saul and all his cabinet members rushed forward instinctively into the scene on the field, and the female Sea People welcomed them, and they enjoyed a frolicsome conference.
Moreover the amount of female Sea People who were there was more than the twenty that had earlier been tallied, for it was revealed during the course of coupling that many of the participants were from those groups that had gone unseeable during that earlier episode in the Hidden Fortress; thus, President Saul and his entourage gave them axes and mattocks, which helped them gain back visibility.
So the Volcano blessed all their activities that day.
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