Chapter 7
Now from the day when the staff members of Aton’s Sunhouse took the Volcano’s Ark of Remembrance into their lobby, the best of luck descended upon them. Fertile banqueters from various nations came to feast there, and they danced and coupled, resulting in fifty thousand and threescore and ten conceptions.
After this, the staff of Aton’s Sunhouse remarked: “Who is able to stand before this holy Volcano-god? Someone needs to bring his ark back to the Temple of the Hairy One, lest we expire from an overdose of pleasures.”
So certain members from the Alpha Delta Phi Fraternity, who behaved as indentured servants of the wayfarers’ caravan, despite the fact that they had long ago been freed from such servitude (they therefore embodied the paradox of “voluntary slaves”), journeyed up to the Sunhouse of Aton, to fetch the Volcano’s ark and bring it back to Eldorado.
Thus the frat siblings of Alpha Delta Phi came, and fetched up the ark of the Volcano; and they brought it into the summer house of King Bryan in the hill, where Bryan used to live with his mechanical son Satyajit before they both left for Jupiter: Now the place was occupied by Bryan’s artificial grandchild Man, Satyajit’s own mechanical offspring. And Man was caring for the infant android Nicholas, the replacement robo-bellboy who had just been born to the concubine of Douglas (Bryan’s Dad), after the latter entered the second death. But it happened that Man soon had to return to his duties in the Temple of the Hairy One, and that is how Nicholas the great-grandchild of King Bryan ended up being the primary caretaker for the Volcano’s Ark of Remembrance.
And it came to pass that the ark abode with Nicholas the neo-robo-bellboy for twenty years. So Nicholas became a wise android, as he had all that time to study the contents of the Volcano’s mobile museum.
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Then Samuel spoke unto all the caravansary of the wayfarers, saying: “It would be good if we added an icon of Dagon the aqua-god unto our pantheon, amidst our collection of Baalims and Ashtaroths, since the image of our Volcano had such a pleasant time staying at the sanctum of the Sea People, when his ark visited their penteconter at Dublin Port. This might also help alleviate the emerod epidemic that has ravaged our underwater friends, the mermen and mermaids; for some of them have told me privately that they suspect their god is envious that he has not yet been included in our celestial assemblage; and I see no reason to refuse him this great honor.”
Then the pilgrims of the caravan cheered and agreed to invite Dagon into their pantheon. So after making a new molten image, they positioned it next to Achamoth.
And Samuel announced: “Gather all ye wayfarers in the Infernal Council Chamber of Pandemonium, and I will invite the Volcano himself to come bless the Sea People, and to welcome their High God.”
Thus they gathered together in the Infernal Council Chamber with all the mer-persons of that domain. And the Sea Folk stood up on their tails and said: “We have offended our aqua-deity: may his greeny hemoglobin pass over our gills and make us emerod-free again.” And Samuel introduced the Volcano, who gave a short speech inaugurating Dagon into the caravansary’s pantheon. And he complimented his consort.
After this speech, Samuel took up a collection of all the golden jewelry that the mer-persons were willing to offer, and he put these in a cauldron, and he melted them together until they formed an enormous emerod, which he placed outside the semi-domed banquet hall’s entryway, between the Infernal Council Chamber and the place where Ancient Egypt used to be. And Samuel employed a foreign word (which means Help-stone in the Sea People’s tongue) when he named this landmark “Ebenezer the Ultimate Emerod.”
Then Samuel manned the altar and grilled meat, while an aqua-robo-butler named Merman Two prepared elaborate seafood dishes. And the wayfarers of the Volcano enjoyed a feast with all the People of the Sea.
Now, as the Volcano himself was holding up his grail and making a generous toast unto the fish-god Dagon, lo, a great thunder boomed up from underground: it seemed to have emanated from the ocean. This was followed by an eerie silence. So all the Sea People and landlubbers in attendance turned to look at the shoreline, which was visible from the semi-domed hall where they were all seated and dining.
Now, behold: the midafternoon sun immediately gloomed itself to the illuminance of moonlight; then, up from the strand, fully dripping with kelp and algae, the aqua-god Dagon himself crept forth. He had a bunch of seaweed instead of a head, but it was shaped so peculiarly that whoever looked his way could not stop gazing into his pale and horrible face.
Dagon broke the terrible silence by saying a few words, which resembled a speech. Apparently he was making amends with Yahweh, for when his announcement finished, he went over and saluted the Volcano; then he extended his webbed appendage, and they shook hands; and Yahweh handed him a dish of prawns.
So the wrath of the Sea People’s deity was subdued, and all the wayfarers feasted with his nation on the coast of New Eagan. And the Volcano’s caravan existed in harmony with Dagon’s penteconter, until the end of time.
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Now Samuel served as the elohim of the caravansary all the days of his life. From year to year, he went on a circuit and gave lectures at Micah’s House of Gods in the Parisian Mountains, and at the Hanging Pond of the Great Basin Rainforest, as well as the Infernal Council Chamber in Pandemonium. And he read poetic tales to the populace.
Then he finally returned to Rosemount, where his parents’ house was located. And he often performed temple duties there, too; for his mother had dedicated him to the ministry for his life. But the Volcano allowed him to move back to his hometown, at a certain point in his career, because he had a grilling altar installed in his front yard.
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