Chapter 2
Then Elvis and his family went back to their house in Rosemount. And the Virgin Marylin’s firstborn child of promise, Samuel, worked in the mosque with the Volcano and his android.
And the robo-butler Man had a son of his own, also an android, who acted as bellboy at the mosque: he was called Douglas, and he had the nickname “Bryan’s Dad” – a misnomer, since he was technically the great grandson of King Bryan (but he did look just like Bryan’s Dad, which is to say, Bryan’s earthly father).
Now this robo-bellboy was an holy terror: he was a rascal and a rapscallion. For, in those days, a bellboy was expected to help visitors of the mosque to haul their meat, which they intended to grill, and to help carry in any other foodstuffs that they brought along for the feast. And it was customary for visitors of the mosque to tip the bellboy for his service, by sharing a serving of the meal with him, when they ate. But this robo-bellboy Douglas, (Bryan’s Dad) would greet each guest of the mosque with a fleshhook in his hand – this thing had three barbed teeth, like the Trident of Poseidon – and, instead of helping them carry in their supplies, he would jab the fleshhook into their caldrons and pots, and stab and tear off huge hunks of meat. And he would also slap the guests and confiscate their bread and wine. Then, after he had already nabbed his portion at the door, this robo-bellboy Douglas (Bryan’s Dad) would come again while the guests were feasting, and he would demand to be given a triple serving of whatever they had prepared; and, if the banqueters dared to protest, he would simply take their food by force, while seizing extra bottles of wine. Wherefore the sin of the robo-bellboy Douglas (Bryan’s Dad) was very grievous: for he abhorred these feasts of the Volcano.
And Samuel, the son of the Virgin Marylin Monroe, ministered before the Volcano, being a child, girded with a linen ephod. Moreover his mother made him a little coat, and she fashioned a new one every year: she would give it to him when they visited Eldorado for their yearly feast. And the rock-&-roll icon Elvis blessed the Virgin Marylin his wife, and said, regarding her dedicating her firstborn Samuel to a life of service in the mosque: “May the Volcano give you more children, to pay you back for this loan that you have given to him.”
And the Volcano visited the Virgin Marylin again, so that she conceived, and bare additionally three sons and two daughters. And the child Samuel grew before the Volcano.
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Now the robo-butler Man heard all that his son the robo-bellboy had done: how he stole so much meat with his fleshhook, plus impounded bread and wine; and how he lay with the women that assembled at the door of the temple, right in front of the whole congregation. And Man said to this bellboy Douglas (Bryan’s Dad): “Why do ye such things? for I hear of your evil dealings by all this people. Nay, my son; for it is no good report that I hear of you: you make the banqueters to transgress. If one human sins against another, then the judge shall judge him: but if a machine sins against its manufacturer, what could possibly intreat for him?”
Notwithstanding, the robo-bellboy hearkened not unto the voice of his father, because the Volcano wanted to slay him.
Then the Volcano approached the android Man, to confront him about the bad behavior of his son, the bellboy Douglas (Bryan’s Dad); and the Volcano said to the robot: “Look, you have been with me since the days of Ancient Egypt: after I led their whole labor force out of the country, to feast with me on my hill in the wilderness, you and your father Satyajit helped carry my Ark of Remembrance. I anointed Bryan to be the perpetual King of my outcasts, but then he went back to Jupiter; and your father Satyajit, Bryan’s artificial son, followed him there a little later. But you, dear Emmanuel, remained with me here on Earth, and you helped me when we were mixing and mingling with the nations: you monitored the peoples of every place that my wayfarers visited, keeping track of all their fertility indicators, and you faithfully notified me whenever the auspicious hour had arrived, thus allowing us to take full advantage of the optimal time for impregnation, and together we brought countless Seeds of Promise into this world. So I have kept you as my assistant all these years, through multiple generations, because I like you. But now you have this son, this robo-bellboy Douglas (Bryan’s Dad) who kicks at my feasts and pitchforks the steaks away from the visitants of my mosque. He honors himself above the people whom he should be serving, and rewards himself with the fat of the chiefest of all their offerings. Wherefore I must warn you: your son, albeit mechanical, shall not live forever; behold, the day shall come when I will yank the magic carpet from beneath him. I will zap his memory, and he shall enter a state of discombobulation. And this will be a sign for all who would dare to treat the guests of my temple cruelly: your son the robo-bellboy Douglas (Bryan’s Dad) will die two times in one existence – first, he shall become a zombie bot of walking death; and then, despite his artificial nature, he shall go down into Sheol – though born a computer, he shall die like a man. But once he’s gone, I will raise up a truehearted helper for us, to take your son’s place, and he shall remain our colleague forever: the people will like him, and he will be friendly towards everyone.”
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