Chapter 8
Then President Solomon called before him all the moguls among the wayfarers, together with his chiefs of staff, and all the self-styled yogis and gurus, so that they might transfer the Volcano’s Ark of Remembrance from where it was parked in Eldorado to this new Perma-Tent of the Hairy One (which is how David referred to the place in the paperwork for the financing of the purchase of its foundation land from Adonai). So they all assembled themselves and enjoyed a feast.
Then, with all the bigshots looking on, Nicholas the android and his father the robot Man, respectively the bellboy and butler of the Tabernacle of Potential, took up the ark. And they brought this mobile museum, with all the historical curiosities that were in it, out of the Volcano’s tent; and they left the ark in the charge of Solomon’s moguls and yogis and gurus, while the robots returned and dismantled the tent and folded it up. President Solomon had gathered the congregation of the rest of the wayfarers around the old tabernacle, as they did this; and he kept slaughtering and grilling sheep and oxen, for their ongoing feast: he cooked so many steaks that their number could not be counted.
Then the mechanical assistants brought the ark, topped with its golden image of Yahweh, into the oracle of the Perma-Tent, and set it down in the Most Holy Place, even under the wings of the cherubims.
The wayfarers had deposited various memorabilia within the ark, during their journeys with the Volcano, when he guided them out of Egypt, through the wilderness, and into the many lands from Las Vegas to Eldorado. And when the ark was in the Tabernacle of Potential, it was filled with all these keepsakes that the people had secured there; and this intellectual treasure was always free to be viewed by the public. However, sometime between their removing the ark from the old tent and their resettling it in the Most Holy Place of Solomon’s God-House, the ark’s contents must have gotten secretly raided. For, now, when they lifted its lid before the multitudes on this special occasion, behold, there was nothing inside but two tables of legislation (which, as their fine print explained, had been drawn up by the yogis and the gurus under the supervision of the select committee of moguls). Even the Volcano’s original contracts were gone.
The caravan’s general populace was collectively shocked by this sight of a nearly empty interior – the Ark of Remembrance had proved to be a Void of Forgetfulness! But the yogis and gurus who had gathered on the stage to preside over the dedication ceremony seemed unperturbed: they attempted to carry on as if nothing were amiss.
But they could not manage to begin their presentation, because of the black clouds of smoke that had amassed: for the Volcano had apparently filled the house in this way.
Then President Solomon addressed those who were gathered, saying: “The Volcano said that he would dwell in thick darkness. Now I have surely built him a strong place: one that will last, in which he might rest in peace forever.”
And the president turned about within the heavy smog, endeavoring to bless all the multitudes of the caravan (while the people stood wondering and whispering one to another); and Solomon began to deliver a speech that he had prepared, saying:
“Blessed be Yahweh God of the caravansary, who today has fulfilled what he spoke with his mouth to my father David, when he said: ‘Since the day that I brought forth your people out of Egypt, I lived in a tent among them; and now you desire to build me a house; nevertheless you shall not do this, but your son shall establish my permanent habitation.’ Now Yahweh has performed these words of his promise, and I am risen up in place of my father: I am the president; and I have created this place for Lord Yahweh the volcano of potential. And behold, the Ark of Remembrance is here, with the tables of commands that you should obey. (If you follow them, God will bless you; and if you break them, God will curse you.) These tables are Yahweh’s covenant with you: it is the reason that he brought you out from Egypt.”
And Solomon stood there with his hands held out, obscured by the thick clouds of darkness that filled the air. And he spoke again, saying:
“But will God indeed dwell on the earth? Lo, the heaven of heavens cannot contain him; how much less this vault that I have constructed.”
And the president, with all the moguls and yogis and gurus of the select committee, grilled steaks before the multitudes of the caravan, and feasted before the Volcano: they went outdoors, to get away from the thick smoke, and there they slaughtered and cooked a total of twenty-two thousand oxen, and one hundred twenty thousand baby lambs. So that is how the president and his select committee dedicated the Perma-Tent to Lord Yahweh.
This feast continued for fourteen days. Then the president dismissed the masses, and they all returned to their homes well-fed.
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