Chapter 9
Then it came to pass, when President Solomon had finished building and dedicating the house for the Volcano, that Yahweh appeared to Solomon the second time, as he had appeared unto him in a dream at the clubhouse in Dunster Street. And the Volcano said to Solomon:
“I have heard what you said, when you stood before the people in this house that you made. I permitted your father David to become president, and I have permitted your presidency. I am taking no action at present, one way or another. I am the volcano of potential: Do you understand what that means? I will be wherever and whenever I choose to be, and absent myself for any reason, whether according to whim or purely at random, without prior notice. Now, concerning this house of yours, which you have devised for me, and which is so exalted, I must warn you: it shall someday come to ruin; and everyone that passes by it will be terrified, and shall hiss. They shall say: ‘Why has Aton done this to his own resting place?’ I just want you to know: if I avoid the abode, it is not your fault; I simply do not require much sleep – I don’t stay dead long. My preference is action: I favor truth over repose. For I am Endlessness.”
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Now after the twenty years that it took President Solomon to build the two houses, one for himself and one for the LORD, it was time to settle the bill for the goods and services, which Solomon had purchased from Hiram the son of Belial, king of Tyre. (For Hiram had furnished Solomon with cedar trees and fir trees, and with all the other supplies that he had needed. Additionally, Hiram sent expert craftsmen from his country, to do the curious work on the details of the Perma-Tent’s interior.) So, to pay off Hiram the king of Tyre for all that he had done, President Solomon gave Hiram twenty cities in the Valley of Exploding Earth.
Now Hiram came out from his homeland of Tyre to see these cities which Solomon had given him; and he was displeased. He said: “What nothingness is this land that you have given me, my brother?” Therefore that region is known as Nihil unto this day.
Even so, Hiram sent to the president one hundred and twenty talents of gold.
Now the reason that President Solomon inflicted his people with forced labor is that he needed to build the house for the LORD, and his own house, plus the wall around Eldorado.
And any people who were left of the Columbians, the Cornellians, the Princetonians, the Brunonians, and the Yalies, who were still visitors, mixing and mingling in Eldorado, and who had not officially joined the caravan as permanent settlers, along with their children, Solomon made them all bondslaves: and they remain so unto this day.
But the wayfarers of the caravan Solomon did not outright enslave; he did not treat them as permanent chattel, at least not at this point: he only forced them to labor on the God House, and on his presidential residence, and on the great wall of Eldorado.
President Solomon also instituted the Empire’s Army, and many wayfarers served as its soldiers, and captains, and charioteers, and horsemen. He also made a navy of ships near the Port of Corpus Christi, on the shore of the Red Ocean. And the king of Tyre, Hiram son of Belial, sent shipmen that had sea-smarts as servants to Solomon. Also, many of the wayfarers became marines. And they went out to Ophir, a wealthy peninsula, and from thence they took four hundred and twenty talents of gold, which they brought to President Solomon.
Chapter 10
Now the prettiest and wealthiest woman in the whole wide world was the Queen of Sheba; and when she heard of the fame of President Solomon, she came to test him with hard questions. She arrived in Eldorado with a lengthy train, with camels that bare spices, and very much gold, and precious stones. And when she met the president, she spoke with Solomon about everything that was on her mind. And he answered every one of her questions: nothing stumped him; there was nothing he did not know.
Thus, after witnessing Solomon’s wisdom, and seeing the house that he had built, and the cuisine of his table, and the splendor of his servants, and their fine apparel, and his robotic waitstaff, and the procession with which he ascended into his glorious God Vault, the Queen of Sheba was bedazzled. And she said to the president: “It was true, what they told me in my native land about your power and your acuity. But I doubted the report, until I came here: now that I have seen it all and spoken with you, I realize that what had been told me was not even half the truth. Your wisdom and prosperity surpass all the gossip and rumors. Happy are those who serve you, and blessed is your god.”
And she gave the president one hundred and twenty talents of gold, and precious stones, plus a very great stockpile of spices. There was never a more abundant accrual of spices than that which the Queen of Sheba gave to President Solomon.
And President Solomon gave unto the Queen of Sheba everything that she desired: whatever she asked for, he wrapped it up as her gift. Then she turned and went back to her own country, she and her personnel.
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Now the weight of “please don’t attack us” bribes that President Solomon received in a year from surrounding nations was six hundred threescore and six talents of gold. That is aside from what he received from the merchantmen, and the traffic of the spice pirates, and of all the princes of Arabia.
Moreover, the president replaced his father David’s executive chair with a great throne of ivory, and overlaid it with the best gold. The throne had six steps, and its top was round, with vast wings fanning out of the back, and two lions stood beside the arms. And twelve more lions crouched on the stairway before it: one on each end of every step.
And all President Solomon’s drinking vessels were gold, and all his silverware was gold: none was silver. For the president’s navy sallied out with the navy of the king of Tyre, Hiram son of Belial, and they brought back gold, and ivory, and apes, and peacocks.
Thus did President Solomon exceed all the kings of the earth in riches and wisdom.
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