17 October 2025

Matthew’s biography of Jesus

[The sections below correspond to the chapters in the King James Bible as follows: 1 = 1–2; 2 = 3; 3 = 4; 4 = 6; 5 = 14; 6 = 26; 7 = 27; 8 = 28.]

1

Here is how Jesus was born. When his mother Mary was engaged to wed Joseph, she was found to be pregnant. Joseph therefore hid her.

2

Then John the Dipper came preaching in the desert. He baptized people after they confessed their crimes.

Then Jesus came and got baptized of John.

3

After that, Jesus followed the wind into the wilderness. There he spent forty days; during which time Belial, a representative of the Creditor Class, tried to coax him into signing a contract for a line of credit, but Jesus refused.

John the Dipper was then cast into prison. At this time, Jesus began to give public speeches against oppression, advocating debt forgiveness.

4

Now Jesus taught people to pray, saying: “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.”

And when people said: “What are you talking about?” Jesus explained: “If you forgive others their debts, your heavenly Father will also forgive you the unpayable debt that you owe him for your existence: But if you do not forgive others’ debts, then neither will your Father forgive you.”

Jesus also said: “Waste not your care upon tomorrow: tomorrow shall care for itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.”

5

Then the Dipper John was beheaded to please an exotic dancer. So, some of John’s followers buried his body; then they went and told Jesus about John’s death. And when Jesus heard it, he departed in a ship to the desert.

Jesus then went up into a hill, alone.

When Jesus came down, he taught the multitudes, saying: “God shall someday come back to planet Earth, and all the holy angels with him. He shall gather all the nations, and he shall separate their people one from another, as a herdsman divides his sheep from his goats: and God shall say to the goats at his left:

“‘Come, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: For I was hungry, and you gave me meat: I was thirsty, and you gave me drink: I was a stranger, and you took me in: naked, and you clothed me: I was sick, and you nursed me: I was in prison, and you visited me.’

“Then the goats shall answer him, saying: ‘Dear God, when did we do these things for you?’

“And God shall answer and say unto them: ‘Truly I tell you, inasmuch as you have done any of these things for one of your fellow beings, even for the least of them, you have done it for me.’

“And these goats shall skip off into life eternal.”

6

Now while Jesus spoke, lo, armed officers came and arrested him, on behalf of the creditors who were among the church and state leadership. And they led Jesus to the house of a rich and powerful man, where they performed a show trial and sentenced Jesus to death.

7

Then they crucified Jesus.

And that evening, a rich man from Edina went to the governor and purchased the body. And this rich man wrapped the corpse of Jesus in a linen cloth, and laid it in his own new tomb; then he rolled a great stone to the door of the sepulcher, and departed. And local officials sealed the tomb securely, and set a pair of soldiers to guard it.

8

On the first day of the next week, the soldiers who had been charged with guarding the tomb came and confessed to their superior, saying: “Last night, some of the followers of Jesus came and stole his corpse while we slept.”

But his followers said that Jesus rose from the dead.

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