Same Story (part 7)

Dear diary,

So, for many years, humans brought forth offspring, and most of these children were male, like Cain. And then, eventually, the beings who occupy the outer spaces where Jehovah God hails from, who are called Goddesses, and who are all female, like Eve, began to look down and observe what was going on, on planet Earth.

To review, we have a pantheon of Goddesses, who are entirely nude and feminine, floating in heaven and ogling naked menfolk. What could go wrong? Nothing, apparently; for the divinely certified report about this epoch declares as follows:

It came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the earth, and the daughters of heaven beheld them, that the Goddesses above became attracted to the unclad earthlings, whose form struck them as irresistible; thus they came down and took all the sons of Man that they wanted, and they made them their playmates. This is why one is said to “fall in love” (rather than “rise in love” or “shuffle sidewise in love”): because the heavenly nudes descended to earth, using the same stairway as the pre-Seth Enoch. — As opposed to a “fall of mankind”, the Goddesses blissfully “fell for mankind”. That’s a fact.

Now when Jehovah God saw that all his colleagues were joining his world to picnic with earthlings, he welcomed them heartily. “Come, enjoy yourselves! The more the merrier,” he said; “I’m glad to see you again! Athena, Hera, Aphrodite, you’re all looking equally fair!”

This initial lovemaking session lasted for more than 120 years; and the result was that giants began to proliferate on Earth. Until that time, human beings were all just angel-sized; but, when the daughters of heaven came and mounted the sons of mankind, the offspring they brought forth proved monumental: these became the mighty and renowned Titans, which readers of history might be familiar with. But everything that’s written about the Titans is basically wrong, except the stuff that makes them look admirable and heroic, cuz that’s what they truly were — Aristocrats of the Spirit! — yet Zeus, who is resentful of the Titans, came to power and passed a number of draconian laws, including the so-called Olympian Patriot Act, which resulted in all true history becoming revised, warped & propagandized. Thereafter, none of the textbooks could be trusted. — However, we’re getting ahead of ourselves here; the tyranny of Zeus happened much, much later: even far beyond the back cover of this report. So let’s return to the story...

Alright, so, like I was saying, there were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the Goddesses grew seduced by the earthly inhabitants, and mated with them after the fashion of mammals, then gave birth to the glorious Titans; one of which was Prometheus God, who would become Jehovah God’s closest friend.

Now the Goddesses noted that humankind’s animal magnetism never wore off: it neither weakened nor lessened, but only grew stronger with use; thus every imagination of the thoughts of the hearts of the Goddesses became exclusively and eternally erotic. The fun did not stop. The globe was one vast picnic.

And it captivated Jehovah that he had invented humankind, and it thoroughly amused him.

And Jehovah cried: “I am so pleased by this phase of my experiment that I simply must save it, so as to make it permanent. Thus I will rapture all of these people who I have created, and take them up to heaven in fiery chariots. Not only humans, but all the beasts that I handcrafted, and all the creeping things that resulted as byproducts of my ‘earth-scoop’ method of life-forming; even the fowls of the air (who are already up in the air) shall be raptured into the air with everything else. For everything that lives is holy.”