How the World Began

One day, after I had finished signing copies of the first volume of The Essays & Lectures of Bryan Ray, I sent all my fans home and went up into my mountain alone to think. I stayed there thinking quietly until nightfall, at which point I experienced the most detailed vision: it was a revelation about how the world began. Here is what I saw:

Space and time were colliding. Lightning was zapping. All the stores were closed, yet people were looting them. There was mass chaos; and then the Big Bang shot it. After that, there was Earth and the Sun; but it was apparent that the world was still unfinished. All the water was floating around in the air, because there was no gravity to hold it to the ground. None of the four elemental forces existed, so there was neither moisture, magnet, dust, nor heat. It was weird. Everything was dark and slimy. Atoms kept shrinking until they were too hard to see. The disciplines of essay writing and lecturing were not yet even invented. And there was no law prohibiting the consummation of same-sex marriage. This was way back, before I was born. It was clear that the Sun revolved around a flat Earth. But, I’m sorry to say, I forgot to check whether or not there was a Creator.