Address to Whoever Will Listen on This Day

I have no teeth in my mouth. I just came over here to say hi to you. What’s your name? Joe? Good to meet you, Joe; my name is Jim. There’s a block party down the road, would you like to go bugle in the street? OK, let’s head out.

On the way, I stop at a store and purchase some product that helps to moisten my Jheri-curl hairstyle.

We drink lemonade and sway for a while. Then we hurl some dice and gamble paper money. “Did we win, Joe?” I ask. And you say: “No.” 

“Ah, that’s too bad. Well, I gotta go use the portable restroom now,” I say while pacing away. “OK, Jim,” you reply and salute.

Now you are left all alone for a spell. You wonder what you should do with yourself while I’m gone. You find a bike and begin to ride it around. Then I return:

“I’m back,” I say. 

“OK, Jim, I’m glad you’re here,” you say while parking the bike upon its kickstand.

The Rest of the Story

We then decide to visit the County Fair. We walk there and find two chairs and sit in them.

Some people see us reclining like this at the fair, and they approach and ask to buy some tickets for our ride. We take their money and direct them to a nearby contraption. We help them climb inside the framework of the buggy and then buckle their safety belts. We press the red button that says “START THE RIDE”. The buggy zooms forward on the track and goes around and around, and then it juts sideways and flips upside down. Then it goes back and forth and zigzags side to side. 

“Stop the ride, my companion is dead!” shouts one of our customers.

You pull down the emergency lever, which brings the ride to a halt.

“Never mind: false alarm,” says the customer. “Her arm just got caught on a detail of the scenery.”

So you flip back the lever, which re-starts the ride, and this time you also turn on the laser beams. Our customers now begin to shriek.

I pick up the loudspeaker, so that my voice can be heard above the commotion, and I enunciate the following message clearly: 

“You dear souls compliment my every move. You erode away my rough edges. I feel that I’ve been waiting for you my whole life — it’s as though we’ve known each other before. I believe that this is because we were meant to be together. Destiny has joined us. There will never be anyone else for me — we’re a perfect match.”