Copper Cutter

Here I am, vacationing in Canada. Next thing you know, I feel hungry. So I ask one of the Canadian citizens “Do you have any ethnic food that I could eat, like something that your country considers to be its ‘national sandwich’ or whatever? I will gladly pay you for it.” 

This native explains to me that the official, national sandwich of Canada is known as the “taco”, and I’m in luck because he himself happens to be a taco vendor (as his main focus is Canadian cuisine). “However, there is one difficulty,” this taco vendor explains: “Look, your American coins are too valuable here in Canada — for, remember, our country is not a part of America; therefore our money has only half the value of yours.” 

After thinking briefly about this, I answer: “What’s the problem? I have one single U.S. penny — shouldn’t that be enough?” 

But this taco vendor shakes his head and sighs: “Monseigneur, you do not understand. See, your penny is worth a full pair of our Canadian pesos; and, since my tacos are priced at just one peso apiece, and my coin purse is empty, there’d be no way for me to return the surplus difference for your American copper money.” 

“Well then,” I smile, “just keep the change, and we’ll call it a gratuity!” 

Now the vendor’s countenance falls, and he recites by rote: “The transnational corporation of which I am an indentured servant explicitly prohibits generosity.” 

I blink and ask: “So, that means no tipping?” 

“No tipping,” nods the taco vendor sadly. 

I then tap my finger on my chin for a New York minute, which helps me strike a solution: “Eureka!” I whisper. And, without unveiling my intention, I step into a nearby Tool Rental Shop and acquire a copper cutter, which I then use to chop my U.S. penny in half. 

The Canadian taco vendor now accepts my proper payment and hands me my order. 

“This is delicious,” I say, chewing with vigor; “in fact, it’s so good, I would like to eat another.” Then I hand over the remaining half of my severed coin and buy an additional taco.