Beer of Ambrosia

Beer of Ambrosia is the beverage of choice among the gods. It tastes like nectar and honey and barley and hops in a barrel, flavored with real juice plus a wallop of malt liquor. I’m pretty sure that you will like it, because, if you don’t like it, you’ll get poked by lightning rods. However, give it away as a gift and it will forgive all your villanies. This brew is good for the heart. Haul it by the wagonful and drink it down. It’s rather tangy. Bring it to a wedding or a rap concert. If you ever visit Heaven, you will notice a three-headed dog — don’t panic: just offer him a bowl of Ambrosia Beer, and he will be civil to you; that is: he’ll refrain from biting off your extremities. The Most High Deity Zeus likes Beer of Ambrosia because it causes his wife Hera to appear attractive. This beverage is so pragmatically useful that it causes my theology class to get up and dance. Try it once and I guarantee that you will say “Ooh, yum!—this reminds me of syrupy grapes at the end of a rainbow seen through fog.” Full bottles of Ambrosia Beer grow on a tree in paradise; so pluck one down and take a sip: you will see that it will light up your life and make the world reveal its secrets. Your eyes will open up, for once; and your ears will be able to understand poetry and parables; yes, you will become as the gods, knowing not just good but evil as well. And, all of the sudden, you will feel a desire to go out surfing.