Unclogging the Drain (Burt the Plumber, pt. 2)

“Uh oh, this looks like a dilemma,” says a potential customer. “The drain is clogged, and my wife is sobbing. — Dear, dry your eyes; I will call the plumber now . . .”

“Hello, this is Burt the Plumber. I wish you a good day. Whoa, look here: you’ve got a major dilemma on your hands. But I can’t work while your wife is sobbing like this. Thank you. — Now, first, I’ll take out my wrench; and, there, now, see? Do you smell that odor? That’s the result of years of crud clogging your drain. Lots of hair clippings, uncooked rice, and birdseed. You should try a little harder to keep your pipes free of debris — that would help them look more appealing. I would advise against shaving your area over the sink; otherwise, what happens is that the clippings go down there and combine with all the uncooked rice and birdseed, and then you’re left with a clogged-up drain.”