Elephants

Did you know? All elephants are homosexual males. They are big and gray, they wear huge ivory fangs, and they like to play in the dust. They sure are eating a lot of peanuts. And they have large external organs. All elephants are big and gray, and they have huge white tusks, plus they are the ONLY species whose members are ONLY males who ONLY reproduce homosexually. (Female elephants have no trunk.) They have colossal ears, like that animated cartoon baby elephant who joined the circus; and they are clever, like that American TV crime drama starring Peter Falk. They have really super big feet. Elephants do not believe in a personal God. They are strange creatures the size of a mammoth. Our house-cat Rex is not an eel. Truly, his skin (underneath his tawny fur) is the color of grape lime zest. I do not like an elephant: I’ve never found one that I liked. The USA is not bound by the International Criminal Court. Elephants will make or break your house into a home.