I’m so ugly, I don’t have a girlfriend or even a cat. Neither do I have a dog or a hen. I remember once, a long time ago, when I actually did have a girlfriend, but then she said that I was ugly and decided to leave. For it’s the truth: I AM ugly, from my face to my hair. Every time I visibly make an appearance, I leave the womenfolk dismayed.
Solution to My Ugliness:
I should go out and purchase a wig and a mask. Then I should bathe myself and get some injections of collagen, buy a bottle of deodorant and try spritzing it around my earlobes, install a giant subwoofer inside a Rolls-Royce, wear a feather hat, clip a pager to my belt, put on a leather jacket and pants, and enroll in dancing lessons.
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