14 July 2023

The Racecar Driver Who Died

I dedicate this essay to the driver who was able to go really fast. He wore sunglasses and had a mustache. Then he got in a car crash. The thing that was extra sad about this tragedy is that he had won so many races. He put the pedal to the metal and became a champion. Look at all of his trophies. This man is a husband and father of several children. Listen to his engine roar. I commemorate him for his good work speeding along the road and leaving behind a cloud of dust. What a legend. I hope his kids continue along the path that he was blazing. The mention of his name would even bring smiles to the faces of newborns — I saw it myself. This fellow had a fine soul: one in a million. Why did God take him from us? As I said, I’m dedicating this lecture to his memory. May my words remain folded up and placed upon the topsoil of his grave, to guard his honor like a sentinel.

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