Morningthots

I hated school. I used to rage against it, and my parents would sternly oppose me; my dad would say: “It doesn’t matter if you like it or not – it’s THE SYSTEM, and you must obey it.” This always struck me as the worst stance. I say that the system should work for humans, not humans for the system.

I see the same type of idolatry in the economy; people say: “I believe in the invisible hand of the market.” Instead of attempting to solve any problems actively, they hold back and murmur: “Let the market decide.” But I think the market should serve humans, not the other way around; and if the market is harming people, then we should smack it until it shapes up.

The beautiful thing about rules is that they are breakable. But too many people would sooner break humans’ bones than the system’s rules. (Note how almost all laws are bad and benefit only horrible ogres.)

All the above is too preachy. Strike it from the record.

I wonder: What is everybody living for? I myself am living for art, specifically literature – I hate that it’s come to that, but that’s the truth; I admit it. I think it’s funny that poetry is at once the weakest thing ever, but it also potentially wields the highest power. I desire this power so fervently that I’m willing to put up with a soft, weak life to obtain it. Here’s where I’m stupid: I forget that the power never follows the poet’s aim. More often than not, it flies in the opposite direction. Rest in peace to Nietzsche and Jesus.

Are you living for your children, trying to provide them a better life? Are you living for money? What if money were living for you? (Is money alive? I think it just bit me.) Children seem like a worthy cause, but I’m thrown off by the fact that they eventually grow up and become abusers of everything.

People who fought in war have told me that they did so for the sake of my freedom. During war, unthinkable atrocities occur. If I were not so fond of conversation, it would be easier for me to believe that horror is the prerequisite of peace.

Does anyone ever know what’s happening in war – why it began, where it’s going, how it could end? It seems that people just act as they’re commanded, while everyone assumes that someone up the chain has a plan that will eventually work out.

The filmmaker Jean Renoir served as a fighter pilot in World War 1. I’ve been reading his memoirs (My Life and My Films) – on page 147, he writes:

If one is to put a label on them I would say that the fighting troops in the First World War were complete anarchists. They didn’t give a damn for anything, least of all for noble sentiments. The destruction of cathedrals left them cold, and they did not believe that they were fighting a war for liberty. They cared nothing for death either, thinking that their present life was not worth living. They had touched the lees of existence. What is strange is that, despite this complete skepticism, they fought magnificently. They were caught in the machinery and had no way of getting out.