(Cont.)
Now Joseph was carried down to Egypt; and Potiphar, an officer of Pharaoh, captain of the guard, purchased Joseph from the traveling salesmen who had bought him from his brothers.
And the volcano of potential favored Joseph, thus he was a lucky fellow. He was stationed in the house of his master Potiphar, who saw clearly that Joseph was charmed, and that the Volcano caused all his actions to prosper. So Joseph found grace in his master’s sight, and Potiphar promoted Joseph to the position of overseer, so that he managed all the household affairs. And it came to pass, from this time forward, that the Volcano blessed Potiphar’s house and all that he owned, for the sake of Joseph: he blessed everything inside and outside the Egyptian’s abode.
And the master left everything that he had in Joseph’s care. Potiphar concerned himself with nothing but the food that he did eat.
Now Joseph was a goodly person, and handsome. And it came to pass, after a while, that his master’s wife cast her eyes upon Joseph; and she said: “Lie with me.”
But he refused, and said to his master’s wife: “Your husband Potiphar has committed his entire fortune, and all that he possesses, into my care; no servant in this household outranks me; and my master has not withheld anything from me except yourself – you’re the only tree in the garden whose fruit is forbidden: for you are his wife; if I were to lie with you, then I would be equal to my master, and he would be rendered superfluous: at that point, he would either need to fly away to another planet, and try again to create a race of perfect slaves, or else he would need to evict me from his domain, and place cherubims and a flaming sword to bar my return: I don’t want to put him through all that. Potiphar is a nice guy; he’s been good to me. How then could I betray him in the way that you suggest, and sin against God?”
Yet it happened that, every day, she spoke soft words of love to Joseph, and she persisted in her endeavors to allure him. But he would never hearken unto her, to lie by her, or to be alone with her at any time.
Then it came to pass, a little later, that Joseph went into the house to conduct his business; and all the household staff had been sent away, so the whole place was empty. And she caught him by his garment, saying “Lie with me.” But he left his garment in her hand, and fled, and got away.
And she stood there with his garment in her hand, and she considered what to do. Then she summoned all the household staff to return; and, when they came in, she called them to her, and showed them Joseph’s garment, and said: “See this? The master has appointed your superior Jospeh to mock us; lo, he came in unto me to lie with me by force, and I cried with a loud voice, and when he heard how much I screamed, he left his raiment, and escaped, and flew away.”
Then she hung up the garment to display it by her side, and she made her hair and attire disheveled; and she waited there, in this state, until her husband came come. And when Potiphar appeared, his wife addressed him with this speech: “That servant of yours, the overseer, which you have brought here, came in unto me to ravish me: and it happened that, as I lifted up my voice and cried, he left his garment with me, and fled out.”
Now when Potiphar the master heard these words of his wife accusing his servant, his wrath was kindled. And he took Joseph, and had him cast into the royal prison, where the King’s prisoners are bound.
But the Volcano was with Joseph, and showed him mercy, and caused him to be favored by the keeper of the prison: and this keeper put Joseph in charge of all the other prisoners, and Joseph became the overseer of the whole prison. And the keeper left every aspect of the prison in Joseph’s care. For the Volcano was with Joseph: and everything that he did, the volcano of potential made it to prosper.
§
Then it came to pass that two of the royal servants got thrown in the prison: the bartender and the baker. For Pharaoh, King of Egypt, was angry at them; and he put them in the place where Joseph was bound.
Thus the King’s bartender and the King’s baker were jailed with Joseph. And, one night, each of them had a dream – both the bartender and the baker, who were imprisoned – and, after they dreamed their dreams, they looked sad.
So Joseph came into the cell and said: “Why do you look so sad today, O baker and bartender? Have ye had bad dreams?”
And they said unto Joseph: “Each of us has dreamed a unique dream; yet neither of us can tell what his own dream means.”
Then Joseph said: “All secrets belong to my god; therefore, tell me your dreams, I pray you.”
And the bartender told his dream to Joseph, and said: “In my dream, behold, a vine appeared, and it had three branches: and they all budded and sent forth blossoms; and the clusters thereof brought forth ripe grapes. And the royal grail was in my hand, and I took the grapes, and pressed them into the grail, so that it brimmed with their blood; then I offered this up to the lips of a White Leviathan, which continued sipping from the grail, whose blood never diminished but lasted forever. That is all. Then I woke up, in a sweaty panic.”
And Joseph said unto the bartender: “This is the meaning: The three branches are three days. So, within three days Pharaoh shall lift up your head, and restore you to your former position as tender of the royal bar. And you shall get your old job back. – Now, I pray to you: if what I just said proves correct, then please remember me, and mention me to Pharaoh, and urge him to end my imprisonment. For the truth is that I was stolen away from my family, and I have done nothing to justify locking me in this dungeon.”
Now, when the royal baker saw that Joseph’s analysis of the bartender’s dream was good, he said unto Joseph: “I also dreamt a dream. And, behold: I was at the center of the universe, and I had three baskets on my head, and they were all filled with bakemeats. Then some birds came along and started to pester me. That is all: End of dream.”
So Joseph answered and said: “Here is your interpretation: The baskets are periods of time. Since there were three of them, it means that within three days Pharaoh shall remove your head from your neck, and slice open your carcass, and pour out your insides, and the birds shall eat the organs of your body.”
And it came to pass on the third day, which happened to be Pharaoh’s birthday, that he made a feast for all his servants, and he summoned the baker and the bartender to stand before him, and he honored the bartender, and reinstated to him his former position; but he beheaded the baker, and he divided his corpse with an ax, and drained his blood into a baptismal font: then a flock of songbirds splashed therein and bathed.
Howbeit the royal bartender, when he was restored in the presence of Pharaoh, completely forgot to put in a good word on behalf of Joseph.
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