Chapter 11
Then a Shining One from among the Persian Fire-Worshippers came up to mix and mingle with the wayfarers who live in the Himalayan Mountains, between the Land of Oz and Las Vegas; and these were the very men mentioned above who were naysayers and had not voted for Saul to become the caravan’s president. So the faction from the Himalayas approached this Shining One from the Parsees and said: “Make a covenant with us, for we would like to elect your Fire as president, and to let Fire command our nation’s executive branch, instead of this Handsome Boy Model whom that clique of wealthy landowners is trying to shove down our throat.”
Then the Shining Heavenly Being from Persia answered and said: “Here are the conditions of my covenant. You must all be baptized by the Fire. Any man who refuses to pass his whole body through God’s Holy Fire must forfeit one eye: pluck it out, and cast it off. Those are my terms: either lose one eye, or keep both eyes and cleanse your whole body through Fire Baptism.”
And the wayfarers of the Himalayan Mountains said: “Give us a week to think this over.”
Then the Himalayans among the naysayers of the caravansary sent angels to the Black House in Sweet Beulah Land, threatening Saul that if he truly desired the presidency, then he must come and help them out of this dilemma. They explained the situation dishonestly, claiming that the Serpent of Persia was trying to beguile them, and they urged Saul therefore to come and battle the Parsees, so as to win their Fire for the Volcano.
When the staff at the Black House heard this message, even though it was delivered by an attractive angel, they lifted up their voices and wept. Then Saul came back from tending the herd in the field, and when he entered the Oblong Office, he noticed that everybody was weeping and gnashing their teeth; so he said: “What is wrong?” And his staff then told him the tidings of the Himalayan counter-faction.
The Spirit of the Volcano came upon Saul when he heard those tidings, and his anger was kindled greatly. So he took a yoke of oxen, and hewed them in pieces, and flame-broiled them in the Furnace of Potential, and seasoned the meat well, and he arranged steaks on plates as individual servings, and he instructed the angel from the Himalayas to distribute these dinner dishes along all the coasts of the caravansary, and to relay the following message at the moment each is served: “Saul and Samuel send you this cuisine. Take, eat. Only remember: anyone who does not join the Emergency Militia, to help our siblings withstand their Snake-Attack, will get slaughtered and seasoned, just like this ram steak. I, Saul the President, will hack you up, personally. Thank you for listening; now, enjoy your meal.”
Then the fear of the Volcano fell on the populace, and they came out with one consent. Their total was three hundred and thirty thousand wayfarers.
And Saul sent the angel back to the junta in the Himalayan Mountains with the following reply: “Tomorrow, by the time the sun is hot, ye shall have help.” The angel delivered this message to the naysayers, and they were glad to see that their little scheme seemed to be working. Therefore, since the week that they had requested to ponder the Parsee’s proposed covenant had almost expired, the Himalayans sent their answer to the Shining One, and said: “Tomorrow we will agree to be baptized by Fire.”
Then, on the morrow, Saul arrived in the Himalayan Mountains with his militia in three companies; and they saw the Shining One of the Persian Fire-Worshippers waiting to receive all who would dedicate themselves to the True God. And Aton, the solar deity, had made the sun to rise directly overhead, and its rays came down and formed a Clear Spirit of Fire before the Shining One from Heaven, and the Divine Being welcomed Saul and his army, whom he thought had come to be baptized. And Saul returned the greeting, and the two fell to talking, and the true nature of the situation was explained to Saul by the Shining One; and Saul then relayed what the counter-faction had told him by way of the angel. Then the Parsee said: “Where are those men who said to me, one week ago, ‘Shall Saul reign over us? No, let us have Fire in his stead.’ Bring those men out, that we may consume away their iniquity.”
And Saul added: “Come out, ye troublemakers. Fear not: no man shall be put to death this day, for today the Volcano shall cleanse us, and we shall be saved.”
Nevertheless the naysaying faction of the Himalayas trembled, and would not step forth into the Fire. So President Saul took the lead and went first into the midst of the burning flames. And the naysayers from the counter-faction marveled greatly at this sight, and they remarked amongst themselves: “Lo, Saul is walking in the midst of the fire, and he has no hurt.”
Then the Shining One from Persia came near to the mouth of the burning fire, and spoke in a loud voice, and said: “Saul, Saul, President of the Volcano’s caravan, and servant of the Most High God, come forth, and come hither.” Then Saul came forth from the midst of the fire.
When the naysayers saw this, they ran up and examined the man, upon whose body the Fire had no power, and they found that not one hair of his head had been singed, neither was his coat changed, nor had he the smell of smoke upon him.
Then the Celestial Being from the Parsees spoke again, saying: “Blessed be the God of Saul, who has delivered his president that trusted in him, and yielded his body, that he might serve forever the volcano of potential.”
And the naysayers were almost persuaded, though they were still hesitant; so they motioned for the three companies of Saul’s army to follow their commander. Then the rest of the multitudes from the caravansary passed in through the Fire. And that day there were three hundred and thirty thousand souls who were baptized.
Then even the naysaying counter-faction, which was against Saul’s presidency, agreed to go in. And they passed through the fire, and it refined them as silver is refined, and their impurities were removed as gold is tried [Zechariah 13:9]. And this fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah [43:2]: “When thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.” Even Saint Paul the Apostle says, in his First Epistle to the Corinthians: “The fire shall try every soul’s work of what sort it is. If it abide . . . he shall receive a reward. If it be burned, he shall suffer loss: but he himself shall be saved.” [3:13-15]
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Then said Samuel to all the multitudes who were present, those of the caravansary as well as the Persian Fire-Worshippers: “Come, and let us go to the Hanging Pond of the Great Basin Rainforest, and perform the official inauguration, to renew Saul’s presidency. And all the people went to the Hanging Pond; and there they elected Saul the president of the caravan before the Volcano in the Great Basin. And they grilled meat with the Volcano, and every soul from all the nations rejoiced greatly.
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