08 July 2025

David still on the run; Saul diverted from the chase

Chapter 23

Then some buglers from the island of Key West came and cried to David, saying: “Behold, the Sea People are having a dance-a-thon in our neck of the woods. Come now to the threshingfloors of Monroe County: that’s where the action is.”

Therefore David retrieved the ephod and asked the Volcano by way of the Urim: “Shall I bring the robo-butler out to Key West and mingle with mermaids?” And the Volcano answered through the Urim: “Outlook good.” So David began to pack his luggage, in preparation to take a trip to the island of Key West with Man the android, to attend the Sea People’s ball.

But while David was folding neatly and placing into his suitcase all his silky Hawaiian-print shirts, his disciples came to him and said: “Behold as we live here in this tree fort that you built in the buffer zone between Chaos and the Happy Isles, we are in constant terror of being discovered by the president’s henchmen; but our fear will greatly increase if we go to Key West, since our group of travelers will likely catch the eye of the intel agencies: for, lo, they can monitor that area of Florida easier than they can our headquarters in this forest.”

So David inquired of the Volcano yet again, using the ephod’s Urim. And he asked “Shall I arise and go down to Key West, and attend the Sea People’s dance-off, despite the fact that President Saul’s intel agents will thereby have a better chance of abducting me?” And the Urim answered: “You may rely on it.”

So David and his disciples went to Key West, with the robo-butler Man, and danced with the Sea People. And they feasted upon cattle, and enjoyed a sumptuous banquet. And David’s group coupled with many of the inhabitants of Key West, and Seeds of Promise were conceived.

§

Then, during the festivities, it came to pass that the android Man remembered the extra ephod that he had secured within the storage chamber of his torso. Thus he withdrew it and vouchsafed it unto David.

So now David possessed double ephods, with twice the Urims and the Thummims. A redundant helping of such magnificence is a nest of guarded duplicate eggs. Hence David’s motto: “I am the Truth and the Light.” (For that is the translation of those two strange words: Urim means “lights” and Thummim means “truths.”)

§

Now President Saul discovered through his surveillance network that David was vacationing in Key West. So Saul said: “God has delivered him into my hand; for he is shut in, as there are gates and bars encircling the island.” And Saul told his covert agents to sail down to the Gulf of Mexico and besiege David and his disciples.

Yet David knew that Saul secretly practiced mischief against him; so he said to Man the robo-butler: “Bring here the ephods.” Then David asked the Urim on his own ephod first, saying: “O volcano of potential, savior of the caravan, I have it on good authority that President Saul plans on invading Key West, to interrupt our dance-a-thon and discourage further mingling, just to spite me; now, therefore, will the mermen of Key West deliver me up into Saul’s hand, when his representatives approach?” And the Urim showed the answer: “Yes.”

Then David asked the Urim from the robo-butler’s ephod, just to get a second opinion: “Will the mermen of Key West deliver me and my disciples into the custody of President Saul?” And straightaway this other Urim answered: “Most likely.”

Then David knew that he could trust this divination, so he arose and departed out of Key West, taking his six hundred disciples along with him; and they went whithersoever they could go.

Now when Saul was informed that David was escaped from Key West, he forbare to give chase; although he instructed his undercover agents to keep a close eye on the fugitive. So David abode in the wilderness of Ziph, in makeshift strongholds, for a while; then eventually he retreated to that vault in which he had lodged aforetime, called the Cave of Aladdin, wherein certain radiant prophets were sleeping, on the side of Mount Purgatory. And Saul’s agents kept snooping around, each day, but the Volcano never allowed them to apprehend David.

Then Jonathan the son of President Saul arose and went to visit David at an office in the woods. And Jonathan said unto David: “Fear not; for the agents of Saul my father shall not find you; and you shall be the next president of the caravan, and I shall be your V. P. – this also my father is aware of.”

Then the two performed a little ceremony under an arbor in the woods, and yet again they renewed the vows of their covenant before the Volcano. After this, David remained within his forestine office, and Jonathan walked back to his house.

Then some of the Ziphites, hoping to collect a reward, went up to meet with President Saul at the Black House in Sweet Beulah Land, and they revealed the exact location of David’s current hideout. And they told the president that they would help to deliver David into his hand.

And President Saul said: “Bless you Ziphites for having compassion upon me. Now, when we go to ambush his haunt, be sure that you remain well-prepared; for I have been told that David deals very subtly. Acquire knowledge, therefore, of all the lurking places where he hides himself. Write a report of all that you learn, and make a copy for me: this will prove useful, when it comes to finding and capturing the man.”

So the Ziphites arose and went back to Ziph in the wilderness. And Saul intended to join them after he finished lacing up his boots. But David had already left his office in Ziph, by the time they returned. He had gone back and joined his disciples on Mount Purgatory, in the Cave of Aladdin. So that’s where they were.

Then Saul and his agents of espionage joined up with the Ziphites and started to comb the landscape, searching for David. And David came out and stood on a rocky protuberance of the mountain, and watched them.

Then President Saul and his mobs of searchers came scouring up one side of Mount Purgatory, and David took his disciples around by the other side: and they hastened to get away from Saul and his henchmen, who were intending on compassing the mountain so as to trap David.

But there came a pretty angel unto Saul, and she handed him a note that said: “You are invited! Bring your person and as many as two entourages of guests, for the Sea People are having a ball in the flatland.”

Wherefore Saul returned from pursuing after David, to attend the dance-off with his search squads.

So that is why, to this moment, the place where Saul received the angelic invite is called “Sela-hammahlekoth,” which means: Why not leave your hard work for another day, and come cavort with us?

No comments:

Blog Archive