A song of David

Chapter 22

Now let us take a quick break from our history to look at this song that President David wrote:

SONG 

by President David

The Volcano is my army tank, my underground bunker, and my mobile rescue team;

My God is a rock filled with lava, ready to burst; only him will I trust: he is my force-field of protection, my skyscraper, my getaway car. If violence comes for me, you deflect it away; and you always save me from getting arrested.

I will call on the Volcano, who is well worth praising: that way, I shall be saved from all my enemies.

When the ocean of death surrounded me, and tried to flood me out and drown me, and the critics of my presidency who did not support me made me afraid;

The sadness of hell compassed me about; the pitfalls of corruption beckoned me toward them enticingly;

In my confusion I called upon the volcano of potential, and cried to his image atop the ark: and he did hear my voice out of his mosque, and my cry did enter into his ears. Also, I inquired of his ephod, and he did answer out of the Urim.

Then the earth shook and trembled; the foundations of heaven moved and shook, because he was wroth. There went up a smoke out of his nostrils, and fire out of his mouth devoured: coals were kindled by it. He bowed the heavens also, and came down; and darkness was under his feet. And Yahweh rode upon a cherub, and did fly: and he was seen upon the wings of the wind.

And he made darkness pavilions round about him, dark waters, and thick clouds of the skies. Lightning blasted out before him: and through the brightness a path was kindled. Everything standing before his face was set ablaze.

Yahweh thundered from heaven, and the Highest God uttered his voice. And he sent out arrows, and scattered them; flashing jags of light discomfited them. And he tore up the earth, and the channels of the sea appeared, the foundations of the world were laid bare, at the rebuking of the Volcano, at the blast of the breath of his nostrils.

He sent from above, he took me; he drew me out of my financial difficulties; he delivered me from my creditors, and from my detractors and opponents: for they were too strong for me. They hunted me and kept trying to waste me: but the Volcano was my stay.

He brought me forth into a large place: he saved my skin, because he liked me. Yahweh rewarded me with luck and with good fortune.

Who can say why things happen. Is it fair? Does God know?

He promises that he shall save the afflicted people, and that he will bring down the haughty. Who dares suggest he is not trying!

For you are my lamp, O Volcano, glowing red-hot: and your magma will lighten up my darkness.

With your support, I will run straight through a whole army, slashing my sword in every direction, and you will help me to do damage. With the assistance of my God, I have leapt over a wall.

As for Aton, his way is perfect; the word of Yahweh is tried: he is a buckler to all them that trust in him.

For who is God, save Yahweh Peor, and Aton; the Nazarene of the future; Enoch Metatron; and Allah!

Like a rock, this one is. You can trust him.

God is my strength and power: and he makes every day perfect for me. He makes my feet like deer’s feet: and sets me upon high, rocky places. He teaches my hands to war, so that a steel bow is broken by my arms. You have also given me Medusa to wife, and her visage is emblazoned upon my shield, so that when my enemies gaze upon it, they are startled. Your gentle way has made me great.

You have enlarged my steps under me, and caused my pace to be faster than it was before I knew you; you also improved the traction of my boots, so that they no longer slip.

I have chased mine enemies, and caught them, and destroyed them; I diced them up, I tossed them out. I flipped them back and broke them down. I’m not normally a cannibal, but I consumed them.

I hit them, I broke them, I bent them and wounded them, so that they could not rise: yes, they remain fallen under my boots with the extra thick tread.

For you have dressed me up for battle. You put a tassel on my slaughter-hat, a ribbon on my killing-bonnet.

You held down my enemies on the ground before me, and stretched out their necks, that I might stomp them or slice them. I hate my enemies!

They looked around, their eyes rolled round in their sockets, but there was no one to save them. No angels, no Jesus. Only Yahweh, but he answered them not.

Then I beat my enemies as small as the dust of the earth. I stamped them as the mire of the street, and mashed them up and spread them abroad. I made a paste of my enemies. God, how I hate them!

You also have delivered me from the backbiting, carping, whining, disloyalty of the populace. You made me the head of the heathen: I was the captain of the creditors’ paramilitaries. People whom I do not even know joined me in ransacking my old neighbors. You should have supported me in my power-grab!

Strangers have submitted themselves unto me: as soon as they heard, they were obedient unto me. Those who doubted me shall fade away: they shall be afraid, and go hide in tiny, close places. But I will find them.

Yahweh lives, and I am the proof. Blessed is the rock that falls on the face of my enemies. And exalted be the God of the rock that propels me to power. O God you are a good man: you brought me forth from my enemies, you also lifted me up on high above them that challenged me: you helped my violence eclipse their violence. Therefore I will give thanks to you, O Yahweh, among the people who do not know you, just to baffle them; and I will praise you, to leave them confused.

Other peoples shall wonder: “Who is Yahweh? Our savior has a different name; Yahweh sounds terrible.” Yes, and he is the tower of my victory. I am Yahweh’s anointed son: Suck that, populace. I’ll slaughter your savior and guzzle his blood. And my seed shall infest his virgin mother, as well as his magdalenes. I am the Lord Yahweh God’s forever-curse.