[The sections in this entry correspond to the chapters in the King James Bible like so: 7 = 17; 8 = 18; 9 = 19; 10 = 20; 11 = 21; 12 = 22; 13 = 23; 14 = 24.]
7
The Lord Yahweh said to me: “Jeremiah, go and stand in the gateway that leads to the city, and address the entire caravan. Tell them: ‘I have a message from the Volcano. Here is his urgent word to you: Do not allow the merchants and the financiers to structure your entire society around the concept of money. If you bar the merchants and the financiers from structuring your entire society around the concept of money, you will be happy. But if you permit the merchants and the financiers to structure your entire society around the concept of money, you will be sad.’”
8
One day, Yahweh said to me: “Jeremiah, go visit the potter’s house, and see what you can see.”
So I went down to the potter’s house, and, behold, he was fashioning a vessel of clay on his spinning wheel. Then he marred the vessel, and ruined its shape; therefore, he tossed it away and began to make another.
The Volcano said to me: “I fashion nations how this potter fashions clay. If the nation turns out good, I keep it; but if it gets spoiled, I start over and make another. Now, in the case that I have decided to destroy a nation, if that nation changes its behavior and mends its flaw, then I too will turn from my intention and save it instead. I work this way with every nation I make.”
§
Certain people in the caravan heard what I was saying, and they replied one to another as follows: “Come, let us conspire to tear down Jeremiah; for I dislike how he keeps adjuring us to change our bad habits.”
9
Yahweh said to me: “Jeremiah, fetch a potter’s earthen vessel, and go stand before all the self-styled leaders of the caravan: all the yogis and gurus, the rabbis, the priests and the pastors. Once they are all gathered in a mass before you, take the earthen vessel, hold it high, so that everyone can see it: now smash the vessel on the ground. Then tell them: ‘Thus says Yahweh Peor of Heaven’s Armed Forces: I will break you people as a man breaks a potter’s vessel, which cannot be made whole again; and I shall bury all your dead bodies in Hell, until the place overflows.’”
10
Now Peter, the first Pope of the Catholic Church, was present at the above meeting, where Jeremiah broke the earthen pot before the caravan’s spiritual leadership. And when he heard this thing that Jeremiah had prophesied, Peter smote Jeremiah the prophet, and put him in the stocks.
Then on the morrow, when Jeremiah was freed, he said to Peter: “Yahweh has changed your name, O Peter, you saint. No longer shall you be called Saint Peter the Pope, but Magor-missabib, which means ‘Terror All Around Because of the Breaking of the Vessels.’ For thus says the Lord Yahweh GOD: Behold, I will make Peter a terror to himself, and to all his friends, and his Church will be a terror unto all. And his congregation shall be taken captive into Wonderland, whose people shall mock them. And you, O Peter, shall die and be buried in Wonderland, and so will all your friends, to whom you have prophesied lies.”
11
President Zookeeper sent two officers to Jeremiah, saying: “Please inquire of the Volcano for us; for Ozymandias of Wonderland is attacking us, and we were hoping that perhaps the Volcano might use some of his miraculous trickery to cause these armies to go away.”
Then Jeremiah said: “Tell President Zookeeper the following answer. Thus says Yahweh the God of War: ‘It is true that I could fend off these foreign attackers, and bat them back so that they never bother you again; however, instead of protecting you, Mister President, I will take any swords that your servicemen have been using to resist these advancing Wonderlanders, and I will turn your own weapons around so that they are pointed at you. And I myself, the Lord of Heaven, personally will join the foreign army of the Wonderlanders and fight against you, with an outstretched hand, and with a strong arm, even in anger, and in fury, and in great wrath. And I will smite the inhabitants of your city, both man and beast: they shall die of a horrifying pestilence. Yes,’ says Yahweh, ‘I will deliver you over to President Ozymandias of Wonderland. I will let him do with you as he desires. And tell your people: “The Warlord Yahweh has given you a choice: Behold, I set before you the way of life, and the way of death. Whoever abides in this city shall die by the sword, and by famine, and by that horrifying pestilence that I concocted. But whoever goes out and bows down and surrenders to the Wonderlanders who are attacking you, that soul shall survive. For I have set my face against this city for evil, and not for good, says Yahweh Peor: it shall be given into the hand of the president of Wonderland, and he shall burn it with fire.”’”
12
Jeremiah received a question from the president of the southern caravansary: “Why is your god so angry at us?”
Jeremiah answered: “Thus says the Volcano: ‘I warned you that I would break forth if you acted inhumanely. Here is what I desired for you to do, which you failed to do, because you ignored me in your arrogance – I said: “Perform what is just and right; save the debtors from their oppressors; commit no wrong to strangers and foreigners; care for the orphans and the widows; shed no innocent blood. If you follow this harmonious pathway, things are bound to go well with you; but if you choose to stop your ears and stubbornly stay on your road of selfishness, I swear by my fire, says the Volcano, that your life will be desolate.”’”
§
Thus says Yahweh, touching that gang of court jesters that succeeded Josiah in the southern presidency, and which were stolen away: “You shall not come back, but you all shall die in that place where your foes have led you captive. You shall see this land no more.”
§
Here is what the Volcano has to say about President Public-Private Part, the son of President Front Rump: “If you were the royal signet upon my right hand, I would pluck you off and toss you away. Behold, I will now give you to the one who seeks your life, and to the one whose face you fear: I will place you into the palm of President Ozymandias of Wonderland. I will cast you out, with your mother, into a foreign realm, where you were not born; and there you shall die. And to this fine country of Eldorado, where you wish to return, you shall not return.”
13
“Woe to the pastors, the priests, the rabbis, and all the self-styled yogis and gurus who lead my people: May god damn you – you have destroyed and scattered my loved ones!” says the Volcano. Therefore, here is the word of the volcano of potential against all spiritual leaders:
“You have confused my flock, and driven them away. Now I will visit upon you the evil of your doings. And I will suffuse the people with wisdom and knowledge, and they will possess understanding and intuition; so that they will lack nothing, and they will no longer need any leaders.”
14
After President Ozymandias of Wonderland had carried away captive President Public-Private Part, son of Front Rump, and all the moguls of the south, the Volcano beckoned to me from his temple and said: “Come here, I have something to show you.”
Then, behold, he showed me two baskets of figs. One basket had very good figs, delectable as first-ripened fruit. And the other basket had very naughty figs, which could not be eaten, they were so bad.
Then the Volcano said unto me: “What do you see, Jeremiah?” And I answered: “Figs; the good figs are very good, and the evil are very evil: they cannot be eaten, they are so evil.”
Then the Volcano interpreted this prophecy, saying: “These good figs are all the wayfarers from the caravan who were carried away captive. I will keep my eye on them, and watch over them, and protect them wherever they are; I will make sure they remain safe, and I will cause them to mix and mingle. My heart is with them. – But as for the evil figs, which cannot even be eaten, those hideous figs are the leaders of the caravan: everyone from the president to the self-styled yogis and the gurus, the rabbis, the priests, and all the pastors. I will cause these authorities to be a reproach and a proverb, a taunt and a curse; and I will send the sword, the famine, and the pestilence, among them, until they all be vaporized out of the atmosphere of the universe.”
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